(no subject)

[imthepilot]

{From here}

Bodhi's still sitting on the grass when Galen comes out; thick, angry tears drying on his cheeks. There's a core of rage in his gut but it's impudent rage. Too much he can't control, can't fix. Too much he can't undo.

Comments

[imthepilot]

"Kyber's still on milk and little bits of poultry cut up fine. Myrrh prefers fish and raw meats. But she's not fussy."

Little predator teeth are currently investigating the fingers of Galen's other hand. Myrrh ducks her head to lick salt off Bodhi's cheek and he nods, petting her reassuringly. "It's okay. They're not the same sort of tears as before."

[galen_erso]

Before. There it is again.

"What happened before?" Galen asks. "What was the lowest point which both the cat and the Guardians saw you at?"

[imthepilot]

Bodhi lowers his eyes, silent for a long moment. When he finds his voice, it's rough and unsteady. "Things happened, after I left you on Eadu. Things I... I wish I could forget. Things that... I never really recovered from. Never had time. Everything happened so fast once Jyn reached Sa-" he cuts himself off, unable to say Saw Gerrera's name, "the Partisans' hideout."

"Eadu, while you were dying, I was stealing a ship, ready for when Cassian and Jyn bought you back. She was so angry, and yet so controlled. She didn't fall apart. She tamped it down and turned it into fuel."

"And I couldn't mourn. Because she didn't know. And I couldn't tell her."

"When the rebel leaders won't listen, wouldn't act on what she knew. What you told her. We stole the ship again. And went to Scarif ourselves."

"They came, later. Once we were fighting. Jyn had the plans but the shield was closed. I got a signal. To the rebel fleet. To be ready. To break the shield so Jyn could upload the plans to them using the tower. I'd done my part. I was going get us out."

"But there were troopers. They had grenades. I heard it land. Heard it bounce. And then I was here. But I was alone."

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him in his arms throughout, one hand on Bodhi and one for the curious cat-child.

"And then?" he asks softly.

His blood-coloured eyes are glistening again.

[imthepilot]

"The blast threw me through the door. Into the garage downstairs. I hit my head on something. It left everything brittle and confused. Like after-" again, he can't talk about what happened in the catacombs.

"My memories were fractured. It took me a while to remember how I died. I remembered you, and that I loved you. But not if you'd loved me back."

"I got it back, slowly. Piece by piece. But I was lost. Trapped. I stopped eating because nothing had tastes. I stopped coming downstairs because everything was flat and colourless."

He swallows, struggling to explain it. "I took pills to sleep, because being awake was too hard. A man who looks like you but isn't. Doctor Lecter. He tried to help but-"

He drops his eyes. "Pain became the only thing I could feel. The only thing that brought back any colour." He shrugs, hugging his arms protectively. "Then something happened and I couldn't bear it. I couldn't live being trapped here alone anymore." He pushes up his sleeves, revealing the scars at both wrists.

{ooc: this tag is brought to you by a small black cat having an attack of the midnight zoomies and trashing my livingroom.}

[galen_erso]

Galen clings to him, eyes brimming, an listens.

"My Bodhi," he manages, voice thick, and bends his head to kiss the scars. "I'm here, I'm with you now, I'm never leaving you again."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi almost flinches, senstivive about the scars on his wrist in ways he never was about his back. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, shamefaced. He had been weak, he was ashamed.

[galen_erso]

"Why?" Galen says. "I am sorry about not coming here sooner. I left you all alone."

There are years in his eyes again as he looks I to Bodhi's face.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi shakes his head. "Time doesn't move right here. People kept telling me you might turn up. Even after me. But hope was a poison. It's not your fault. I should have been stronger."

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him again, warm and close. "I am here now, and I love you," he says. "I'll stop blaming myself if you do."

That can be a mutual promise, geared towards healing.

[imthepilot]

"I'll try." It's the best Bodhi can promise. He blames himself for so much.

Kyber, annoyed at being left out, jumps up Bodhi's chest to headbutt his chin. "Are you hungry again?" Bodhi asks, slightly exasperated.

[galen_erso]

"He is small and needs fuel to grow," Galen says. "Milk and poultry to turn into fur and claws and muscles."

He reaches out to stroke the kitten.

And yes, he nods, he accepts the promise, conditional though it may be.


[[ OOC: This post is brought to you, in turn, by my water bottle and my own small black cat singing arias in the night.]]

[imthepilot]

"And fuel mischief." Bodhi mutters fondly, "I can fetch some food from the bar for them. If you want stay here in the sun?"

[galen_erso]

"That would be good," Galen says. "I can't move very fast yet, with this thing."

[imthepilot]

"Do you want anything while I'm there?" He's hesitant to let go of Galen but Kyber is climbing his arm.

[galen_erso]

"Maybe some water to drink for both of us, and treats for Myrrh?"

Crying is thirsty work.

[imthepilot]

"Of course." He manages a weak smile and kisses Galen softly. "Just promise you'll be here when I get back." He's been burnt once.

Kyber, convinced he's going to miss out on something, chases after Bodhi, getting scooped up and tucked inside Bodhi's shirt.

Myrrh however, stays to keep an eye on Galen, curling up in his lap.

[galen_erso]

"I promise," Galen says, stroking the black cat in his lap. There is a crackle of faint electricity in the black fur.

When Bodhi returns, Galen is of course still there, eyes narrow as he peers at the shimmering fur. "They have some sort of energy to themselves."

The name Kyber definitely fits the little one.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi comes back with a basket of food, Kyber's head poking out of the lid, chewing on a twist of the wicker.

"Myrrh's fur sparks a little when you stroke her in the dark." He unpacks, pouring Galen a large glass of water, cold and clean. He offers Galen the glass with that ritual sharing of Jedhean habit.

He pours himself one and takes a small sip before pulling out the warmed bottle of milk for Kyber. Who pounces on it, greedily.

[galen_erso]

Galen drinks the water as ceremoniously, savouring the clear, cool liquid with the realisation that yes, he is thirsty, and yes, he needs this.

And it is the beginning of a new life, even after death.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi's head is still spinning, his sense of what his life is now is still so rocky and unstable.

But he has Galen back. And a little kitten who relied on him, something that anchored him in the here and now.

He tries to focus in that - on this moment. He passes Galen a closed container of meat for Myrrh, a tray of cookies for themselves. One handed of course, feeding Kyber with the other.

[galen_erso]

Galen sits beside him, takes a cookie, then offers the box to offer the cat in his lap a bit of meat. Myrrh takes it with careful, pointy teeth, so very white and sharp in her black face.

Then, he leans in to kiss Bodhi, his lips tasting of those cookies.

[imthepilot]

Myrrh's a delicate eater. As opposed to Kyber who finishes his milk and comes bouncing over to investigate what Myrrh's eating.

All of which Bodhi is too busy to notice. To busy returning the kiss. Hesitatingly, like he's afraid that Galen might vanish. Or break. Or he might break himself.

[galen_erso]

Kyber might raid the entire box while Galen is kissing Bodhi back, tenderly and with all his heart.

They are together, again, at last. For good.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi wraps an arm around Galen, holding him carefully. "Galen."

While Kyber raids Myrrh's treats. There's a soft yowl as Myrrh picks Kyber up by the back of the neck and removes him from her food.