(no subject)

[imthepilot]

[From here]

There rooms are a bit of a mess. Bodhi spend all night cooking and as much as he cleans as he goes, there's still a lot left to do. But it can wait. He puts the last ingredients away to be made into something else tomorrow.

He turns to Galen, shedding his jacket. "That was enjoyable. I missed markets like that."

Comments

[galen_erso]

"Before we did all that we had to, and suffered, and died," Galen says. "And now, we are back together. The Force has cast its pebbles on the riverbank, where they now can gather moss in peace."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi clings to Galen, kissing him again. "Washed up together."

[galen_erso]

"In the same pleasantly insignificant shallows," Galen agrees, his fingers running through Bodhi's hair.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi turns his face into the touch, enjoying the feeling. "And we can make it our own. Make this the new start we wanted." He wants to believe it. With all his heart.

[galen_erso]

"We can," Galen says. "And we will."

He leans in to kiss Bodhi again, very tenderly.

Yes, he is aware that they have both still a lot of healing to do, and Bodhi much more than he himself. But there is no reason to postpone the good things until the bad things are better.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi lets the kiss grow soft and slow and loving. He strokes Galen's hair, his fingers tracing down his cheek. Feeling to roughness of his beard.

[galen_erso]

"Yes, it's me," Galen whispers. "You and me, here together."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi almost finches. It hurts to know his pain and doubt is so transparent. "I'm sorry."

[galen_erso]

Galen kisses him again. "Do you think I don't find it a miracle to hold you again?" he murmurs. "At the end of all things. Finally."

He looks into Bodhi's eyes.

"Bodhi."

[imthepilot]

"I don't doubt you, Galen. I never did." Bodhi answers urgently, cupping Galen's cheek. "But I wasn't strong enough. Without you, I'm not-" his hands drop to his lap, scarred wrists showing. "After everything, you deserve better than me. Than me like this."

"You should have got Jyn back. Not me."

[galen_erso]

"Even if..."

Galen shakes his head. "I love you. You are my lover. I want a life with you, or an afterlife. Jyn is a grown woman -- it would have been lovely to know her again, but she has her own life. Must have her own afterlife. Do you know if she had anybody?"

[imthepilot]

Bodhi curls up close in Galen's arms. "She and Cassian were close towards the end but- I don't think they were that sort of close."

[galen_erso]

Galen leans his cheek against Bodhi's hair. "They might have grown closer, over time. Tell me about Cassian."

[imthepilot]

"He was the rebel agent who got out of Saw's prison. Off Jedha just before-" He ducks his head, hiding his face in Galen's neck. "I trusted him and he lead them to you."

He sniffs, trying too focus on the question and not the guilt. "When the council wouldn't support Jyn's plan, he did. He and some of the people he knew. We took the ship we stole on Eadu and went to Scarif."

"Jyn didn't like him at first. Not after Eadu. He was meant to kill you himself but he didn't. She forgave him."

[galen_erso]

"Why didn't he?" Galen says.

Very telling that he doesn't ask 'Why kill me?'

[imthepilot]

"I don't know. I don't think he knew. Maybe because of Jyn. Maybe because he believed in her. I don't know. But he didn't pull the trigger."

He can't raise his eyes. "I saw you. From the ledge where we climbed that last time. You were leading your scientists outside in the rain. He wanted to know which one was you. I thought- he'd said we were there to rescue you. I went back to find a working ship. I thought they'd come back with you. But the explosions started."

It comes out as a babble, tears tracking down his cheek. "Jyn was so angry. So-" he cuts himself off. "She said you were dead. She was yelling at Cassian. It was all I could do not to fall apart. You were dead and it was my fault."

[galen_erso]

Galen just holds him close and strokes his hair and lets him cry. That poisonous guilt must come out, like an infection.

"Not your fault," Galen says. "The fault of whoever ordered that attack. The fault of Orson Krennic for conceiving his evil project in the first place."

[imthepilot]

"I just wanted to hold you again." Bodhi whispers. And then kisses Galen - deep and desperate.

[galen_erso]

"And now, you do," Galen says, holding him close and kissing him, as fierce and as desperate.

[imthepilot]

The tears run their course between kisses as their franticness gives way to breathlessness.

"I'm sorry." Bodhi rests his forehead against Galen's, a hand buried in his hair. "I thought I was past this."

[galen_erso]

"You are with me," Galen says. "You went through hell between our parting and now, so of course, there are things left to cry about."

[imthepilot]

"I just want to be with you. Out of the shadows of the past. I just wish I knew how."

[galen_erso]

"We need to come out of those shadows consciously, intentionally," Galen says. "It takes effort, even for me. And those Guardians are not helping. They have wandered very far from what they used to be."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi strokes Galen's cheek, lifting his eyes to meet Galen's. It was always the main thing that bothered him about Hannibal. No-one but Galen should have those eyes. "They don't you. They don't see past their own prejudice."

He kisses Galen again, sweet and soft and loving this time.

[galen_erso]

"The Guardians that I used to know -- or rather, Lyra used to know -- on Jedha before the Empire were very different," Galen says. "That's probably why I'm disappointed that they're not helping you. Because the ones she met, would have."

He returns the kiss, softly and lingering.